DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILDREN DO BEHIND YOU

USIFO VS CHIDINMA

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILDREN DO BEHIND YOU?

JUST BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL TO GOD…

I have carefully followed the commentaries' post-the-dreadful alleged murder of Usifo by a 21- year old female student of that fine school, Unilag. Many of those comments accused the girl and some of her victim. 

But what looks like some clarity is coming from the cloudy situation. It’s beginning to look like the young lady might not have worked alone and was a bit practiced in the act. The police hopefully will unravel the details. 

Now to part of my point. Let no one older than this girl act as if she did anything new. She didn’t. A lot of terrible things have always happened. Sadly. Let me share a few using my life. 

I attended a school set up by Americans and Canadians and the Western Regional government. Trust me we were very free, spoiled, indulged, a very liberal environment. Clothes laundered for us. Cafeteria systems like Unis. Socials and dancing till the wee hours. Sometimes Greyhound buses were brought in to take us to Ibadan and Lagos during holidays. Ask anyone who ever attended the Comprehensive High School Ayetoro. We were brought up as if the school was in the US or Canada. 

Why am I starting from here? The liberal environment helped produce brilliant students. Many have excelled nationally and globally. But it had a flip side. Liberty was abused by many students. By my form 4 I was smoking. Skipping classes, against regulations, going to town at night to eat. Hanging out in our “gangway” with girls, and I assure you we were not discussing academic issues. I first tasted marijuana during that period. We even left school for Lagos to be at Fela’s shrine. I was between 14 and 15. Prostitutes. Yes. 

From here I moved to the Polytechnic Ibadan for A levels and “improved” liberty and of course abuse. Openly drinking and smoking and being treated like adults. Let me save you the details. Of course, more drugs and a few ambitious friends used the Bible page as Rizla for smoking marijuana because it was light. Believe. 

Then on to Unilag. And I stepped up in liberty and freedom. Again more drinks. More drugs. More female relationships. Skipping lectures and tutorials. But passing. And gambling. My room in part 3 was one of the two “authorized” gambling joints in Unilag. R008. New Hall. Gambling from 4pm to 7am the next day almost daily. 

NYSC. Awesome. No control at all. More recklessness. Just imagine it. We did all and more. Then I started work 1982 and sobered a bit. But Shrine, smoking, etc continued. Small drugs too. Then all ended in 1987. I met Christ. 

Now, where am I going? Between Compro and NYSC I could have missed it. Some of my friends and mates did. Became addicts. Failed exams. No progress. Etc. Forgotten. 

But God was merciful. Our parents and guardians were good. Just as Chidinma’s parents have been. But my parents had no idea what I was doing in those days. I was gentle at home. Possibly what Chidinma is also. Quiet and well-behaved. At home. Like me. Possibly like you. But see what has happened. 

Folks let’s always thank God for His Grace. I see a lot of people condemning the girl etc. And you are right. BUT HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING WHEN YOU ARE NOT THERE OR WHILE YOU ARE NOT LOOKING THAT WAY? Do you know and trust your children well enough? 

Chidinma’s case is sad. It’s the failure of society and the system. Usifo an older man doing wrong things with a girl young enough to be her daughter. Many do this. Many are condemning her. No one knows how and when she derailed. It’s a sad case and I pray God will have mercy on her. 

It’s not the time to point fingers and recklessly condemn. It’s time for sober introspection about our society. Our youths. Our families. Our nation.  we need to ask valid questions about what is going on under our very own noses that we can't smell and what can we do to right this parenting error and this vice that sat among us like a son of the soil. It's Chidinma today and of course, Usifo is gone, it looks ok because its the adult that died, what about the many young girls who died in such situations and were swept under the carpets, or the man who died and such killings never get to the pages of our dailies? we need to up our games to rescue the future

May the Lord help us. May the Lord have mercy on us all. Amen. 

original story

LA

Orignally Written by Lolu Akinwunmi

Group executive chairman prima-garnet

 updated by Temitope Popoola