Ibrahim Yusuf Wrote
#ReformEntireForce#
My SARS experience:
So long as you live in Nigeria, you sure can relate with the many stories about the excesses of law enforcement officers.
Yours truly have had scuffles with these crazy characters parading themselves as law officers in the past.
My very first was when I was still in high school, somewhere in Ajegunle, an uptown district of Lagos. It was during the Ramadan fast. After the Ashamu prayers around 8pm, mom had asked me to go to Ago-Hausa to get a few condiments for the breakfast at dawn. I went to Ago-Hausa night shift market. I made my purchases alright and was about heading home when I felt a hand held my trousers. I looked back and saw some men bearing pistols. Before I could voice out my protest, the guys shoved me into a waiting van in the midst of other supposed criminals. When we arrived Ajeromi Police station, not far from the market pronto they took our statements. Our offense according to the officers was that we had gone to the neighbourhood to rape some girls who were on evening classes the previous day.
I told them I wasn't involved. I showed them the stuffs I bought from the market but they threw them at my faces. They asked us all the young men to remove our shirts and lie our backs on the car bonnets with the engine still running. When it got to my turn, an officer asked me to stop. Subsequently, we were all requested to take our bail individually. I didn't have anything on him having used up all the money to buy stuff except one kobo coin, which I lost during the mêlée. A few guys with money bailed themselves. The rest of us, yours sincerely barely 17 years were asked to go behind the counter after taking our statements. Unfortunately, it wasn't the days of GSM. Thankfully, my dad a retired major in the Army came by around past 11pm to lodge a complain of a missing person. As soon as I saw him, I shouted for joy. Some of the officers who know my dad, stood attention while I was asked to leave with all my items returned. I even told dad my change got missing during the scuffle and he asked that it should be returned. In difference to my dad, the DPO I think gave me a 50 kobo note, which I kept in my portmanteau for weeks. Nevertheless I worked out of that station a hero.
Another incident happened to me at Cele busstop some 12 years ago. I was waiting patiently for the bus to Oshodi when this gangly fellow accosted me one afternoon. He flashed me his ID and asked to see the content of my bag which was a laptop. I opened it up for inspection. He checked the bag with a fine tooth comb.
By this time I was running out of patience. Seeing my countenance, he told me to provide the receipt for my laptop.
By this time, I charged at him. "Why on earth do you think I would be going about with my laptop receipt?"
He said he didn't care.
So I asked him, "Officer, do you have a phone?" He said yes. The next thing I said was, "Please show me the receipt!"
He was furious. So I said, that's how ridiculous his request for my laptop receipt sounded to me too. We were both on a shouting match. I'm too stubborn to run away from such infradig on my person. As we were arguing, he brought out his handcuffs to arrest a felon. I just laughed my mirthless laughter. I removed my wrist watch and formed arms akimbo. Boy! He was sweating. I dared him to try me.
Trust Lagos lookers, they passed stoling glances but never came around.
He said many unprintable things, I gave it to him back in full measures. Come see hailing.
Not satisfied, he asked for my ID card, which I supplied. He scrutinised it to no end. And wait for this, he asked me the most foolish question I have ever heard: "The Nation, is it your personal company?"
I told him, no. That I worked as a journalist there. He didn't even know what a journalist was. It was there I knew I was in a horns of a dilemma. You can't win arguments with some of these recruits or korofos if you like.
Thankfully, Cele Police station, where he was attached was a few metres away. He said, I must follow him.
I followed him in tow. As soon as we arrived the station, he asked me to go sit down somewhere. Walahi I busted as my adrenaline reached its boiling point. I raised all hell. I banged on the table, "Let me see the Officer in charge here." The gentleman officer, in charge heard the ruckus and he came out of the office. I told him my mind. He apologised to me profusely. We exchange contacts and I left the place.
However, as a rule, I don't argue with law enforcement officers as much as I would love to during the wee hours because these guys are animals if you meet them in ungodly hours, they're in their elements. If you happen to meet them at such opportune time, respect yourself, play along until it's safer to demand your rights. There's no dead hero. It's better to be safe than to be sorry. That's my story!
Ibrahim Yusuf is a journalists currently with the nation, sunday desk
